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Tell us about your child's tantrums.  How do you react, and what works for you and your child?

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Here's where I need help, too. My son is 18 and since he hit puberty, (and is taller than I am) became very aggressive. He takes his temper out on his bedroom walls, the car, his toys, tv, etc. (thankfully not people). My walls and car have been repaired multiple times, but he continues to hit them to the point of hurting his hands. After he's calm, he knows to apologize and even adds, "I'm happy now" with a smile and hug.

The weighted vest and wrap helped when he was younger, but he doesn't like them now. Does anyone have any more ideas? 

My son ALWAYS needs space... best if padded with tons of pillows and blankets! He just needs the time to let off steam and regroup. I just make sure he's safe. No talking, no analyzing, just silence. Sometimes squishing him with the pillows really helps, too. I guess that's our equivalent of a nice bear hug. We also try to channel his need to throw things or hit. We offer him things that he CAN throw (like a beach ball) or hit (pillow). When he's at that point, there is no stopping it, we just need to ride it out and keep him safe!

I hope that my new product will help everyone.  They all pretty much need some sort of squishing or pressure in areas that a vest cannot provide.  As I have said before, this product is not a vest and it gives the pressure where they need it most!  This could get your child/teen/adult to that calm point much faster and they may ask for it as they notice themselves beginning to feel that way.....my son does this and he's 12 and hit puberty too recently! Please email school specialties and ask when they may be releasing that new therapeutic calming wrap invented by Wendy Bialek. The more emailsI feel they will work on it more quickly.  It's portable and very effective...that's all I can disclose at this point!!!  Let's get these children the peaceful feeling they so need....we love em' like crazy so please help me help you by contacting them about this!!!  Thank you!

I have a lot of trouble figuring out how to deal with Abby's tantrums. I feel like the whole family tip toes around her at times. She does a lot better with my husband then she does with me. I have watched him closely to figure out why she does so much better with him. I think I am so scared of the tantrums. She gets so violent and loud. I am not not afraid for me but for her. I know not to try to restrain her.... She broke my nose when I tried that one time. My husband thinks she can sense my hesitancy and anxiety. How do I get over this? We have recently been diagnosed with SID/SPD. So many things make sense now!
Any thoughts are very much appreciated!
Hi Ruth, I think tip toeing around her is making it worse...she seems to have the control. She knows how you are as opposed to your husband so she takes advantage of that. The brand new product at school specialties website...the Snug N Hug may help her quite a bit. It is for tantrums, anxiety and all that type of behavior. My son loves it! Calms him in minutes!! You may need help the first one or two times since she may resist and may lash out. Here's the thing about this....once she has tried it a couple times she will welcome it most likely. She may want to wear it when she is on the verge too, to feel good. My son and very hyper relative who has Aspergers/SPD who is now 5 has been using it for quite awhile and they both ask for it! Give it a try and also don't let her manipulate you...I think this product will help you both! It says it is a vest but its not...wraps around upper outer arms and torso....lower arms are free. She will feel better and so will you! Good luck...I hope this helps.

Thanks for writing back so quickly. Abby has had 1 OT session so far. She seems to respond to pressure part of the time. Do all SPD kids need to have to pressure input? She seems to calm down when I can get her to let me load pillows on top of her. But those aren't very heavy. She goes from 0 to 60 in 2 seconds when she starts to "flare".  We are learning so much about Abby right now. It is overwhelming. I have several books I have bought to try to understand this whole issue better. Problem is finding time to read and take notes on it all. I hope once I understand all this "stuff" better I can be more confident in how I deal with Abby's tantrums.

I know we are starting a listening therapy thing that is supposed to stimulate the Vegal nerve? I am willing to try the pressure wraps, blankets and vests if that is what she needs. We have been through so much with my little bear. Should I wait and see what her OT says, before I start buying stuff? My instincts tell me we are finally on the right track. I dont want to mess it up....

I would definitely try the product I mentioned...better than a vest. You can take it anywhere and you may want to bring it to the OT sessions, school etc. I would not wait. Most SPD like the pressure unless they are under sensitive, then they may not. Snug n Hug is new and very effective. I bet the OT would recommend it...I had an OT help with mine. Good for proprioception too. Mention to OT it wraps around upper outer arms too...unlike the vest. You will eventually find things to minimize her sensory issues.

Ruth: Here is the Snug-N-Hugvest that Wendy is referring to. It comes in several sizes. I agree that this is a great solution for many children with SPD issues seeking deep touch pressure but as all kids are unique, I would certainly run this by Abby's OT for input and for collaboration on setting up a wearing schedule etc.  A sensory diet rich in "natural" means to get proprioceptive input throughout the day may also be a good idea. Again your OT should be able to help with suggestions...activities such as carrying heavy grocery bags, stacking kitchen/classroom chairs, carrying a stack of books etc. may be helpful in providing this deep touch pressure.  I am also a big proponent of using picture schedules as well. For many children seeing a visaul cue of what's next and/or what their day is going to look like can be helpful in reducing anxiety and subsequent behavior challenges. For other ideas,  check out a blog I wrote last year entitled Recognizing The Rumbling Stage.  Hope this information is helfpul. Keep us posted on Abby's progress!

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