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Temper Tantrums
Tell us about your child's tantrums. How do you react, and what works for you and your child?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Ilana, School Specialty PT on -
Hugs! That is what works best for my children. Talking, analyzing, explaining and directing do not work at all for us. A nice long hug and saying "I'm sorry you are so sad" seems to be the best fix.
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Permalink Reply by Michelle on -
I used to ask whats wrong. Try to console my son, massage, he would throw himself backwards on the ground and repeatedly bang his head off cement, asphalt dirt, bricks, he don't care. When he'd clam down he'd be fine like nothing happen. When hi's clam I try to talk with him again about his actions and everything is someone else made him to do it? Not acknowledging even happened at all.
Thank goodness his only had 2 minor concussions, it's become a little less nowadays but still bangs his head on his wall or door in his room, which is alot safer. He has say in more recent years a few times that it helps him feel better. Gives me a headache but makes himself feel better? hmmmm who knows
If escalates I walk away because when I confront my son it'll escalate into a very physical situation. Then his version is so different. Even trying to restrain him has become more difficult at times because he puts up such a fight it's difficult to get that close to him. By ignoring the negative behaviors such as these tantrums seem to have reduced the frequency but still his 9 1/2 yo and still doing them.
I'm getting work out!!
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Permalink Reply by Michelle on
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I was trained to ignore the negative behaviors and praise the positive. I Dont always agree there are times that the child just needs a simple hug (if the child will allow). Although that's when I'd get ridiculed and that I'm babying my son and caused the negative behaviors, so it's my fault?!
Sometimes I can just redirect the behaviors. Rediction can sometimes go a long way :)
Also being aware of how to choose your battles with the tantrums, knowing which to ignore and which to confront. Takes a lot of practice and educating yourself.
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Permalink Reply by Marlene Zerbe on
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I think you're right. You need to analyze each situation. What brought on the tantrum? It could be sensory reasons or behavioral. I recommend that parents keep a journal if tantrums are excessive to antecedents, strategies tried and reactions. I sensory strategy may work at bedtime but not at another time ,etc. The child may be doing it only when a sibling has more parental attention ,etc. There are so many variables to consider.
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Permalink Reply by Michelle on
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we've tried to find out what triggers him, but haven't had any luck. Possible mood based, and he doesn't respond to hugs only if he comes to us but usually we dont receive or can give him affection. It's very frustrating not being able to console your child.
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Permalink Reply by Amy Assante on
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Because my child does not communicate his needs yet I was getting very frustrated when we had meltdowns/ tantrums. I tried ignoring, explaining what he maybe feeling, hugging and still almost every time I felt I was guessing wrong. I sometimes took it personally. I talked to our occupational therapist and she helped us to understand when it was sensory and when it was behavioral. I totally got it after that and now when I see it is more behavioral I can attend to it more appropriately and if it is more sensory I understand that he might just not be able to do it not that he won't and can direct him to a more appropriate way to get the input and see where that takes us after. Usually after the input he does what I asked originally. The ot was instrumental in helping us understand or see the differences.
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Permalink Reply by Michelle on
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I can certainly relate to you but curious as to how do you deal with the behavioral Amy?
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Permalink Reply by Amy Assante on
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Ignore if he is not hurting himself or time outs.... Time out consists of... I face him and hold him in place and count until he quiets himself usually takes 20-30 seconds or counting up to 20-30 then when he calms and quiets I let him get down. Sometimes however he goes and does whatever he was sent there for again and I do it all over again until he gives up. At times it might take 5 consecutive trips to time out. And tests my patience....lol. After 5x I try to redirect him to go play with a favorite toy. It usually works for us.
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Permalink Reply by Michelle on
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how old is he? He's doesn't try to fight you?
That used to work when my son was younger
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Permalink Reply by Amy Assante on
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He is only 2 1/2 so yes much easier to control than an older child. Have you ever seen the time out pad? It's a pad that when set if the child gets up a red stop light comes on and stops the time kind of interactive. However it may be right up some children's ally with the lights and the interactive part of it. It's visual and audio. Here's a link I purchased this one exactly just have to wait until my child can understand it a little more before I start with it.
http://www.amazon.com/Time-Out-Pad-HD015-Blue/dp/B001IMG5WG
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Permalink Reply by Michelle on
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that time out pad looks awesome! Not sure my 9 1/2 yo old would use it though
I'm having a extremely difficult time with him and trying to have the drs find a way to help is even more frustrating. They only seem to want me to understand what he's feeling and going through and lack of skills. Which believe me I do understand but sometimes feel is no excuse for behaviors with these tantrums when he doesn't get his way. He has no empathy what so ever.
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Permalink Reply by Wendy Bialek on -
Hi! My son (12) gets very anxious and he gets very upset and whines, cries and sometimes will throw something. I decided to develop a portable, calming, therapeutic wrap (not a vest) for children with Autism, Anxiety and SPD. I use this when he gets in those anxious and out of control behaviors and it works fantastic! Within 2 minutes or more, he calms down, is happy and he can talk about his behavior calmly. Watch for it as School Specialties Group is actually working on this project with me currently to get it on the market! Please write to them and ask about it...I call it the Love Hugger...it's been just over a year and this product would help many of your children, so any support on getting this going would be great!!! Your child will love this product...sometimes my son wears it just because he wants that good, calm feeling it gives him...it really works!! Wendy
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